


I can't live here anymore

by smaragdbird



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 17:26:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9335144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: When Samson rejoins the Templars he gets to experience first hand how much worse the situation in the Gallows has become since he was kicked out. Only there isn't much he can do about it unless he wants to end up on the streets again.He comes close, every close though when Maddox tells him after some prompting that one of the other templars has been taking advantage of him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this ](http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/14614.html?thread=58089750#t58089750) prompt

There were no mages in the courtyard when he returned. A few of the older Templars who recognized him threw him strange looks or downright sneered at him.

Alain was escorted to the cells at the bottom of the Gallows. Two weeks of isolation as punishment Cullen decided. When Samson saw Karras take Alain’s arm, his stomach churned. Alain had been quite open about the abuse he had endured for the past six years and at whose hands it had been. 

Samson was about to ask Cullen to swap places with Karras when he remembered that Cullen saw the two of them as co-conspirators, allowed to live only at the mercy of Hawke.

Alain gave him a last pleading look. Samson couldn’t bear it and hid his face in shame.

“Captain”, Meredith’s voice still grated on his ears even six years later. “What is this man doing here?”

“Samson helped us to uncover a major conspiracy between a few mages and Templars”, Cullen explained what had happened to Meredith although Samson noticed that he left a few things out and altered some others. “I believe he should be reinstated to the Order.”

“Is that so?” She stood directly in front of Samson and he had to force himself to look her in the eyes. He hadn’t forgotten what she had done to him, to Maddox, to all the other Templars and mages under her mercy. He despised this woman to his very core and he knew that she had a similar opinion of him. “You have learned your lesson about the treatment of mages then?”

“Yes, Commander.” He had learned his lesson even if it wasn’t the one she expected. 

“I trust Captain Cullen’s judgement”, she said slowly, “but if you step one toe out of line your punishment won’t be exile.”

If Samson had learned one thing then that death could be a mercy. “Understood, Commander.”

She held his eyes for a few more moments before she turned to Cullen. “I make him your responsibility. But for now I accept your proposal. We’re short on Templars as it is. He’ll be granted the rank of a novice and be on night patrol for the next six months.”

“As you wish, Commander”, Cullen replied.

/

The first drop of lyrium against his lips felt like salvation. 

The Gallows more than ever before felt like a prison. Which was fitting considering what it once had been. Only it was hard to tell whose prison it was. He was no freer than he had been before. And neither was anyone else. The mages were imprisoned by the Templars and the Templars were imprisoned by the lyrium.

His comrades avoided him for the most part. The older ones because they knew what he had done to get cast out and looked down on him for it. The younger ones because they took their cues from the older ones. No one liked to be an outsider.

Two days after his arrival the rite of tranquillity was performed on a mage who had been found with a forbidden book in her room. One of Varric Thethras novel’s and not even one of the good ones. But he was a friend of Hawke’s and Hawke supported the mages so all his works were banned in the Gallows. 

Samson was sick afterwards. 

“Do you require a healer?” Someone asked and it couldn’t be.

“Maddox?” Samson asked, disbelievingly.

It was Maddox. Even after all these years Samson recognised him immediately. His hair was cropped short like it was for all male Tranquil in the Gallows and his eyes were vacant but he was undeniably Maddox. Samson had had years to think about what he’d say if they ever met again.

“I’m sorry”, was all he managed.

“What for?”

“Do you remember me?”

“You are Raleigh Samson. I asked you to break the rules and we were both punished accordingly to our transgression. You were reinstated two days ago.”

“I’m sorry”, Samson repeated. They had been friends back then and Samson had failed in his duty to protect Maddox.

“Do you require a healer?” Maddox asked again.

Samson shook his head. “I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m fine as well.”

“You’re still working in the forge?”

Maddox nodded. “It would be a waste of my talents not to. I was always a better blacksmith than I was a mage.”

Samson had heard Maddox say that very sentence every other week back then but it had always been teasing or exasperated or even disappointed. But Maddox had never said it in the perfectly monotone voice he was using now. Part of Samson wanted to grab him by his shoulders and shake him until he gave up the act. 

“I’m so sorry”, Samson whispered again and heard his own voice break. Quickly he blinked the tears away and said more neutrally. “If you need anything you can come to me.”

“Thank you”, Maddox said and left.

/

Keep your head down, Samson reminded himself as he heard sobbing coming from a room one of his fellow Templars had just left. You don’t want to end up on the streets again.

It had been bad six years ago when he had been thrown out but now it was so much worse than he could’ve imagined. The mages weren’t allowed to leave their cells at all anymore except for the meals. And those who were being punished for the most minor transgressions were denied even that. Even teaching had been stopped. It was madness.

None of your business, he reminded himself as he made his way to back courtyard. The forge was here and there was noise coming from it. Maddox was still working, covered in soot and ashes.

“Evening”, Samson greeted him. A part of him hoped that one day the real Maddox would greet him back like he used to as if the whole thing had just been an elaborate prank.

“Good evening”, Maddox replied.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping? It’s pretty late.” It was past midnight. Nightshift was seen as a punishment since it meant missing out on the social life and falling asleep carried a high penalty.

“Ser Deln wanted me to finish this tonight before he comes by”, Maddox said.

“What do you mean, comes by?” Ser Deln hadn’t been in the Gallows six years ago and Samson had barely exchanged a word with him so far.

“He told me not to tell.”

Dread pooled in Samson’s stomach. “Does he hurt you?”

Maddox shook his head. 

“Does he force you to have sex with him?” Ella came to mind, begging him help her secure a passage out of Kirkwall, telling him about Ser Otto.

“He said it helps him to relief stress so he can perform his duties adequately.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

Maddox placed a soot covered hand on his arm. “That’ll get you in trouble. Ser Deln doesn’t hurt me.”

“But you don’t want this.”

“I told you I don’t mind.”

“If you weren’t tranquil – “

“But I am and it disturbs you.”

“I am your friend. I only want you to be happy.”

“I am not unhappy.”

“That’s not the same.” How could it have come to this? Where was the justice the Chantry preached about so relentlessly? Where was her famous mercy? Neither he nor Maddox had done anything to deserve this. Neither had Alain or Olivia or Thrask. Samson felt anger boil inside of him that he had never felt before. The circles were wrong. The Templars were wrong. And the Chantry was the worst of it all, an organisation of two-faced hypocrites only interested in the power they could yield.

“I am your friend too”, Maddox said. Did he notice what was going on inside Samson? Could he recognise emotion even if he could not feel it anymore? “If you get in trouble, you’ll be executed. I don’t want that.”

“Then I’ll try my best not to”, Samson said and mustered a smile from somewhere. “You should get some sleep, Maddox. It’s late.”

“I will as soon as I finish my work.”

“Fine.” Samson squeezed Maddox’s shoulder. “Take care of yourself.”

“You, too.” And for a moment he could pretend that everything was fine. That their lives hadn’t been destroyed.

/

Samson had broken away right when the fighting started. He was certain that none of the mages had thought to take the tranquil with them and he wasn’t sure his fellow Templars would spare them.

The quarters of the tranquil were near the workshop, so Samson ran down empty corridors. When he tripped over the first corpse, he was proven right. It was Ellara, Meredith’s secretary.

More corpses lay on the doorsteps of their cells, whoever had killed them must have knocked and then killed them when they had opened the door.

Maddox wasn’t among them but Samson heard noises from the workshop itself.

“Stop”, he yelled as he pushed the door open.

Three tranquil, Maddox among them, stood in a corner while four more already lay dead on the floor. One of Samson’s fellow knights stood over them, bloody sword in his hand. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Samson asked.

„Commander Meredith gave the order to put all mages to death”, the templar said.

“They aren’t mages, they are tranquil”, Samson replied, putting his body between his fellow knight and Maddox.

“Doesn’t matter. Step aside novice.”

“No.”

“Didn’t you learn you lesson last time, traitor?” The templar sneered. “Once a mage lover always a mage lover. Guess I’ll just kill you with them.”

Samson didn’t reply but attacked before the templar had finished his words. He was out of practice and out of shape but he hadn’t been amongst the best Templars back then for nothing. This was his best chance and he used it. His sword opened the exposed skin between harness and helmet and the fight ended before it had even begun. The templar fell to his knees, hand pressed against the wound in his neck.

“Come, quickly”, Samson yelled at Maddox and the other two. Thankfully the Tranquil were good at following orders. They stayed behind Samson as he carefully led them deeper into the bowls of the Gallows. He figured that the fight would be the worst at the docks and in the inner yard but hopefully the tunnel would still be free.

“We are not allowed to leave”, the Tranquil woman said. “Not without permission.”

“I’m a templar. I’m giving you permission”, Samson replied.

“You are a novice”, Leda corrected him.

“Do you want to die?” Samson asked more sharply than he had intended to.

She shook her head.

“Good. Then follow me.”

He had no idea where they would go once they reached the city but he knew they couldn’t stay here. Not if they wanted to stay alive. He’s figure out the details later.

**Author's Note:**

> We all know how this story ends...
> 
> or if you don't go and play Dragon Age Inquisition, it's great game I promise :)
> 
> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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